Whenever Love Is Dependent Upon A Specific Consideration, When That Consideration Vanishes, The Love Ceases. If, By Contrast, It Is Not Dependent Upon A Specific Consideration, It Will Never Cease.

Which Is A Love That Is Dependent Upon A Specific Thing? The Love Of Amnon And Tamar.[57] And One Which Is Not Dependent Upon A Specific Thing? The Love Of David And Yonasan.[58]

Whenever Love Is Dependent Upon A Specific Consideration, When That Consideration Vanishes, The Love Ceases

The lesson this mishnah teaches - that love which is dependent on an external factor is no more lasting than the factor on which it is based - though profound and encompassing, is also obvious. Within the wording of the mishnah and the examples it provides is a deeper concept.

The mishnah uses the expression "is dependent upon a specific consideration" rather than "stems from a specific consideration" to teach that even though love may be based at first on a specific consideration, if it is nurtured and cultivated, it will function as an "essential" love - one that is not dependent on an outside factor.

To illustrate this concept, the mishnah cites the love of...

David And Yonasan

At the outset, there were reasons why these two were attracted to each other. Nevertheless, their relationship developed to the point that it was no longer dependent on its original reasons and flourished into an example of essential love.

Conversely, the other example given by the mishnah - the love between Amnon and Tamar - shows how an essential love such as the connection shared by a brother and sister can be corrupted when an external factor is given excessive consideration.

These concepts have parallels in our service of G-d. There are feelings of love that stem from a person's intellectual appreciation of G-dliness, or because of his gratitude for blessings received. On a deeper level, there is an essential love which each person possesses because his soul is "an actual part of G-d."[59] Even when the beginnings of a person's conscious bond with G-d are dependent on external factors, the relationship can become true and lasting, since at all times he shares an essential connection.

(Sichos Shabbos Parshas Bechukosai, 5733)

   

Notes:

57. (Back to text) II Shmuel 13:1ff.

58. (Back to text) I Shmuel 18:1; 20:17; II Shmuel 1:26.

59. (Back to text) See Tanya, chs. 2, 18.